I usually don't use this blog to call out local people. I live in a town that is too small and too gossipy for me to say anything about anyone. But I heard some shit while setting up for my gig tonight and I feel the need to publicly call out someone I don't know. So if on the odd chance this person does read this posting, let me start by saying, "Fuck off. Don't come back to my bar."

Good. Now that I've got posted early, let me explain what happened. This woman, who looked in her late 30s/mid 40s, was sitting at a table at Boltini right near the DJ booth. She was talking to some of her friends, and it seemed like she was out of town because she started asking, "well where is the bar where gay people can go and comfortably hang out?" And one of her friends, who had obviously never heard of C Street, said "here." The woman then proceeds to freak out, saying how she hates bars that make a point to be outwardly friendly to gay people because "then the gays feel free to get on everyone in the bar."

Now the first thing I wanted to do was correct the whole table. Contrary to popular belief, Boltini isn't a "gay bar." Yes, we are friendly and welcoming to gays, lesbians, and even cross dressing Downtown Debbie. But we are also friendly and welcoming to douchebag townies in bright orange chief shirts, to young people (well at least 21s and up), old people, people on dates, people looking to dance, people that know nothing about music, and people that know everything about music. We have no dress code. We have no drink requirements. We never have a cover. We've hosted everything from jazz to fetish parties. I know heterosexual couples that met at Boltini and are getting married. Hell, I think even if Bin Laden walked into Boltini, we'd serve the guy.

In short, we're not a gay bar. We're a bar that is open to everyone.

But what really pisses me off is the insinuation that all gay people decide to prey on anything that moves. How fucking ignorant do you have to be to believe that? I have many people in my life that are homosexual, and yet I don't feel like they're trying to get on me. And in fact, if you ask most girls that go out to bars, especially Boltini, it is random guys trying to grope women, not random guys trying to grope the guys.

So bitch, if you're reading this, here's some knowledge for you: You are a small town hick, that knows nothing about the world at large. You have no culture. You have no style. Keep wearing that low cut shiny pink shirt, because in a few months I'm sure your tits will be sagging awfully and they'll match your old wrinkled face. By all means, come back to Boltini cause we don't turn people away. But if I hear you saying that shit again, I'm going off on you.

Fuck I'm pissed off right now. And I fucking hate that Champaign was all small town tonight. I want the fuck out of here.

Coming Together

If there is one thing that will calm me down, it is a good tune and Hercules and Love Affair are certainly purveyors of many good tunes. They're finally starting to get the respect they deserve, even getting an article in today's New York Times. Their first single, "Blind," was a killer, and I featured the b-side on my most Electric Undercurrents submission. They've also remixed one of my favorite songs from the 80s, which I will not name here because it is going to feature prominently in my new mix project (but even the most lazy of googler's could figure it out).

Anyway, if this disco revival really is for real, maybe there will be more tolerance for homosexuals, electronic music and people that enjoy being creative. Then again, this is America and I'm sure hicks will find a way to fuck that up too.

But in the meantime, there are songs like this one... It's H&LA's new single called "You Belong" and it will be out July 7. I'm just going to post the video for now, but when the remixes come out, I'll try to get one of those posted up here. Hope you enjoy it, because this song conjures up everything I loved about electronic music as a kid (I didn't know New Order was electronic music, I just knew I liked it). It's great to see this vibe making an extremely strong comeback:

Do you remember that first time you had chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream? I remember the first time and I was struck by this feeling of "my god, why haven't I been eating this stuff before today?"

I can imagine it's much the same feeling a crackhead has to have after his first rock. However, the important thing to learn from crackheads like Tyrone Biggums is that sometimes, too much of a good thing, even the best of things, can be a bad thing.

Well folks, I'm here to announce there is a new crack in town, and it is a Ben & Jerry's creation. Celebrating their 30th birthday, these Vermont tree-hugging hippies have created an ice cream so good that it would send more people to rehab than the crack addicted welfare mothers that they coddle up there in hippie land (i keed i keed.... mostly cause I like making fun of Vermont). Anyway, the ice cream is called Cake Batter and it basically tastes like yellow cake and goey chocolate frosting. Not only is the combination naturally delicious (you can already taste the really good yellow cake, right?) but being in ice cream format is one of those "why hasn't this been going on for ages?" moments at first bite.



Seriously, the stuff is crack. Beware. But if you really want to get addicted to this stuff, use Ben & Jerry's very cool Flavor Locator Tool to find a pint near you. Congrats on the 30 years Ben & Jerry's, and keep the good stuff comin!

... and some new Kraak (& Smaak)

Some things are just smooth and tasty, like Cake Batter ice cream, or a fresh crack rock, or an old school duet by Bobby and Whitney, or an old school duet by Bobby and Whitney about Cake Batter ice cream with crack rocks sprinkled on top. Equally smooth and tasty are the tunes from the Netherlands' very own, Kraak & Smaak.

In addition to having a fantastic name, this trio of producers churn out a wide variety of sounds, that always seem to retain a quality that makes it pretty easy to identify as a Kraak & Smaak track. Right now, they're riding high with a great tune called "Squeeze Me" that has Ben Westbeech on vocals and a super cool video. Their music has a great balance between funk, breaks and straight up house that makes Kraak & Smaak not only a lot of fun to listen to, but really useful to have in a crate of records at DJing gigs that span a lot of genres.

But enough about the serious music talk, we've got crack to discuss... and if we're discussing crack, and Kraak & Smaak, then the only thing to post up here is Kraak and Smaak's fantastically smooth, but still punchy cut, oh so appropriately titled Bobby and Whitney. Be careful with this one, cause dancing, addiction, and constant rewinding may soon follow.

Kraak & Smaak - Bobby and Whitney