Happy Hypocrisy Day!


In Champaign-Urbana, there is really only thing on people's minds today -- Unofficial. For those of you that don't know what Unofficial is, it is basically a holiday sanctioned by both cities and the University of Illinois. And just what are we celebrating today? Binge drinking. And hypocrisy. The hypocrisy is the interesting part, but let's start with the uninteresting binge drinking.

Don't let anyone fool you into saying that Unofficial is about anything other than binge drinking. It's not about getting an early start for St. Patrick's Day, nor is it about academically minded students wanting to study on the actual St. Patrick's Day and still get in a night of drinking at some point. It is most certainly not about the most misused word in Champaign County: tradition.

No, the whole point of Unofficial is to drink as much as you possibly can while wearing a green t-shirt. Puking is highly encouraged, especially in public places. In years past that drinking started at 8 am -- at the bars. Now, bars aren't allowed to open until hours later, so drinking starts in apartments instead. But the point is that this holiday was invented by local campus bars to maximize binge drinking in bars. There are a lot of green shirts, long lines at the bars, and lots of people puking in the street.

And, according to an Inside Illinois article, "past years’ celebrations resulted in significant property damage in the Lincoln Hall theater and Foellinger Auditorium and led to the death of a UI alumna who fell from a motorcycle in 2006."

Let that sink in... someone died from an event that started as a bar promotion, but yet Champaign, Urbana and the University of Illinois still sanction and promote this event. They even let it get big enough to attract national media attention. I have two graduate degrees and work at a "University" that is best known for its offensive mascot and a holiday that celebrates binge drinking.

And the tradition continues. Already today, 55 citations have been issued and 125 cars have been towed.

Now don't get me wrong here. I am a huge fan of drinking, and having worked in bars for many years now. I love seeing people drunk and stumbling. It cracks me up. So actually, despite all of the problems that it causes, I don't think Unofficial should go away.

But what drives me crazy today is that on this absolutely gorgeous 70 degree day, if I go drink four cases of beer I am celebrating and Champaign, Urbana and the University of Illinois all pat me on the back for it (even if they are just tacitly going along with Binge Drinking Day).

If I went out to the Quad on this beautiful day, sat under a tree, and lit up a joint, I'd be committing a felony offense under Illinois and federal law. Nevermind that I would be causing no property damage, nor would I cause harm to anyone else around me. I'd still be going to jail.

And that is why I am officially calling Unofficial "Hypocrisy Day" from now on. It's one thing for our governments (city, state and federal) to turn a blind eye to the drinking problems facing our nation. It is another thing for Champaign-Urbana to promote Unofficial by building in the necessary infrastructure to support it (more cops on the streets for Unofficial, sending out emails from the Chancellor about the event, advertising in Illini Media publications, etc).

All the while, these institutions are trying to tell me that someone smoking a bowl in the privacy of their own home is a danger that requires incarceration, but 5,000 drunk college kids (most of them underage) all stumbling around on the most busy street on campus is something that just needs to be monitored closely.

Here are the simple facts about marijuana: Pot has never killed anyone. Ever. Marijuana is not a gateway drug (although one could argue that underage drinking is a gateway to other devious behavior). And while marijuana certainly impairs hand eye coordination, can cause diseases over the long term, and hurts memory and other functions of the brain, so does alcohol.

But who cares if alcohol is more deadly than marijuana. Let's all drink some more green beer.

There are some encouraging signs about America coming to grips with reality about marijuana. Eric Holder, the new Attorney General in the Obama administration, announced that the feds will no longer raid medical marijuana dispenseries in states that have medical marijuana laws. And the more you hop around the blogosphere, the more you see growing support for the idea of legalizing marijuana and taxing the hell out of it as one more means of raising revenue to get us out of this current economic crises.

I am optimistic that in my lifetime, someone is going to finally own up to the fact that not only is marijuana at worst only as harmful as alcohol, it in fact might be less harmful than binge drinking (which we're celebrating here in Champaign-Urbana).

But today, in 2009, there still remains the hypocrisy. And if you know me, you know that nothing drives me crazier than hypocrisy.

Alcohol kills tens of thousands of people every year. Marijuana has never killed anyone. All I'm arguing for is that the hypocrisy is eliminated. Either legalize marijuana or criminalize alcohol. And since this country has already gone through the failed experiment of prohibition at least once, it's probably best to try legalizing bud as opposed to taking away everyone's Budweisers.

Happy Hypocrisy Day everyone!!!!! Stay safe out there and don't trust anyone wearing green.

Mike Skinner is Better With Words Than Me

The Streets has always had vivid imagery and clever wordplay in his songs. This tune is called The Irony Of It All and it's from the very first Streets album, Original Pirate Material. It basically says everything I said above in a much more clever, poignant and precise way. Enjoy!

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